You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
