So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
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