I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
