And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
