The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
