um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize