Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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