it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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