Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
