this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
