Moan for me like Helen Keller
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
