this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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