party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
