Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
