Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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