dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
