dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
