I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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