T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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