Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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