and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
do nipples grow back?
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