About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
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