i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
