this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
