You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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