Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
