I wanna bring you to show and tell
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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