Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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