these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
