i think my mom watched the whole time
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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