I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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