ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
