I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
