I'm jealous of your bromance
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
