You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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