My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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