he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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