I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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