you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
