I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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