i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
