No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
