Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
420 ftw
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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