Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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