nut hugger
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize