How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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