The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
