don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
