Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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