I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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