Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
please come you make the beer taste better
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
