We got so high we made milksteak
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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