i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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