exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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