I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
