the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize