Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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