dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
