Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
