I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
